The KellyGram

Wisdom and Wit About the Wonderful and Often Wacky World of Words

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GREAT RESOURCES FOR WRITERS!

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Several months ago, I began subscribing to an ezine titled Legal Write Publications E-Brief, published by Tonya Evans-Walls, an attorney who specializes in legal matters for writers. I found her materials so helpful that I now have three of her books in my library.

The first is titled Literary Law Guide for Authors, subtitled Copyright, Trademark, and Contracts in Plain Language. An award-winning book, it includes a foreword by author and self-publishing guru Dan Poynter, who writes in part: "You will undoubtedly refer to the Literary Law Guide for Authors at every phase of the writing and publishing process."

Tonya's other two books are Copyright Companion for Writers and Contracts Companion for Writers. Each of the three books includes a CD-ROM and each has been a Writer's Digest Book Club Selection.

I've invited Tonya to submit articles for future issues of The KellyGram, and I'm happy to report that she has agreed to do so.

For more information and to subscribe to her e-newsletter and order a free copy of her e-book, 9 Things Every Writer MUST Know About the Law, visit www.legalwritepublications.com.

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TAUTOLOGY – AND OTHER CRIMES!

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One of the several quotation-oriented e-zines I receive regularly is Quotes of the Day, published by G. Armour "Van" Van Horn. Each issue typically features about a half-dozen quotes either on a single topic or by a single author. I highly recommend it, and you can begin by visiting Van's web site at www.qotd.org.

His topic for Tuesday, April 28, was Mathematics. In his introductory comments, Van wrote: "I did pretty well through geometry, but then I seemed to run into a wall. Given the number of basic arithmetic errors I see in the media, a lot of people gave up on it earlier than I did."

Coincidentally, I had clipped an Associated Press article about a week earlier, which illustrates Van's point. The unnamed reporter was covering a professional golf tournament and wrote that one of the players had taken the lead by making five birdies in a row "from the fourth through ninth holes." That, of course (no pun intended), would be six holes, not five.

The errors which appear in major media are by no means limited to mathematics. All writers, including this one, make mistakes from time to time, but these media outlets supposedly have backup systems (called editors) to catch these mistakes before they see the light of day. But, all too often, they don't.

For example, needless repetition, or tautology, is all too common. In the May/June 2009 issue of the awkwardly named AARP The Magazine, Editor Nancy Perry Graham informed her readers that "this issue of the magazine is a tribute to the unexpected surprises of life…" A recent article in Sports Illustrated about The Masters golf tournament named two players, noting that "both were in the same twosome." And a recent headline on MSN.com proclaimed: "Top 10 Predictions for the Future."

These may be isolated examples, but they take their place alongside such often repeated errors as "ATM machines," "PIN numbers," and that cardinal sin by TV meteorologists, who insist on telling us what weather to expect "tomorrow morning at 7 a.m."

Even the rich and famous aren't immune. A recent issue of The Writer's Almanac quoted Warren Buffett as saying: "If past history was all there was to the game, the richest people would be librarians."

Aren't all surprises unexpected? Don't all predictions involve the future? Doesn't the M in ATM stand for Machine? And the N in PIN for Number? And isn't all history about the past? Watch for these kinds of errors in your writing. They can distract your readers and reflect poorly on your skills as a writer.

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SMILE AWHILE

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Barbecue Time

Summer will arrive soon so, as a service to our readers, we present the following summary of the etiquette of outdoor cooking:

• The woman buys the food, fixes the salad, vegetables and dessert.
• She places the meat on a tray, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill — beer in hand.
• He places the meat on the grill.
• She goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
• She comes out to tell him the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks her to bring him another beer while he deals with the situation.
• He takes the meat off the grill and hands it to her.
• She prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
• After eating, she clears the table and does the dishes.
• Everyone praises him and thanks him for his cooking efforts.
• He asks her how she enjoyed "her night off." Seeing her annoyed reaction, he realizes there's just no pleasing some women.

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ODDS AND ENDS

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Back Issues:
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As always, I welcome your support. If you've found The KellyGram to be a helpful resource, I'd be grateful if you'd send this issue along to your friends, family members and colleagues. If they'd like to subscribe – it's FREE – all they have to do is send an email to bob@kellygram.com or use the form at http://www.wordcrafters.info/newsletters.html. Thanks so much!

Comments/Questions:
Your comments and questions are always welcome. Please contact us at bob@kellygram.com, or call Bob Kelly at (480) 895-7617.

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FUN WITH WORDS

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Here are the answers to this month's puzzle:

1. glisters ( Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice)
2. paint (Shakespeare's King John)
3. learning (Pope's Essay on Criticism)
4. savage breast (Congreve's The Mourning Bride)
5. nor any (Coleridge's The Rime of the Ancient Mariner)

(Source: The Quintessential Quiz Book, Norman G. Hickman)

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THE LAST WORD

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"The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone."
(Orison Swett Marden)

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© 2009 by Bob Kelly. All rights reserved.