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Wisdom and Wit About the Wonderful and Often Wacky World of Words
Published by Bob Kelly
Resident Wordsmith and Quotemeister
WordCrafters, Inc.
www.wordcrafters.info
Providing the Right Word for Speakers, Writers, Ministry Leaders and Business Executives – since 1979!
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Volume 5 – Number 9 September 2007
In This Issue:
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FUN WITH WORDS
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The following seven-letter words are missing the first four letters. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to fill in the missing letters.
__ __ __ __ O C A __ __ __ __ H U R __ __ __ __ P O O |
__ __ __ __ Z O N __ __ __ __ T A T __ __ __ __ R N O |
Youll find the correct answers elsewhere in this issue.
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THE QUOTE CORNER (Poetry Part 3)
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My article about poetry in the July 2007 issue of The KellyGram elicited responses from some of our readers. To summarize my position, poetry, with rare exceptions, includes meter, verse and rhyme as essential ingredients.
A former high-school English teacher named Jim Grant described some of his experiences with his inner-city students. "Though not required," he writes, "I taught poetry to them, and found it both fun and demoralizing." Deciding what was poetry and what was prose was an ongoing challenge for his students.
"I emphasized metaphor as the key component [of poetry]," he reports, adding, "I choose a good metaphor over rhyme, meter, or rhythm any day."
I appreciate Jims views, and Im especially grateful to him for sending along about 50 quotations on poetry, many of which were new to me, and some of which are included in this months selections, which follow.
Another reader, Dr. Peter Olsson, sent along two selections of his own. A physician-psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, hes also an accomplished writer. His book, Malignant Pied Pipers of Our Time, subtitled A Psychological Study of Destructive Cult Leaders from Rev. Jim Jones to Osama Bin Laden, was published in 2005. He followed it in January of this year with Poems Behind a Psychiatrists Couch.
A few months ago, I had the privilege of previewing Petes newest book, The Cult of Osama, which is scheduled for release this fall. Hes a very powerful writer, in whatever format he chooses. He didnt say so, but I assume the two selections he sent me, written in poetic form, are from his book of poetry. He expresses himself vividly and beautifully, and includes some powerful metaphors.
While briefly flirting with the temptation to soften my view on what constitutes
poetry, I happened to receive the current issue of Winning Writers Newsletter,
which included some award-winning "poems." What follows is the first
stanza of the grand prize winner in the 2007 W.B. Yeats Society Annual Poetry
Competition.
"Come back to our dreams with your cold and warty skin
your sideways eyes
your splayed hands clothespin-fingered,
the litheness of your open thighs
ballooning of your singing throat
alarming,
alarming"
In case youre wondering, its about a frog. And I rest my case! So, on to this months selections, several of which were among those Jim Grant sent along.
There is the view that poetry should improve your life. I think people confuse
it with the Salvation Army.
John Ashbery (1927- )
Poetry is the only art people havent yet learnt to consume like soup.
W.H.
Auden (1907-1973)
I gave up on new poetry myself thirty years ago, when most of it began to
read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens on a hostile world.
Russell
Baker (1925- )
I know that poetry is indispensable, but to what I could not say.
Jean Cocteau
(1889-1963)
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by
everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, its the exact
opposite.
Paul Dirac (1902-1984)
The most important thing for poets to do is to write as little as possible.
T.S.
Eliot (1888-1965)
Theres no money in poetry, but then theres no poetry in money either.
Robert
Graves (1895-1985)
The audience swelled to six in the end and we all huddled in a corner.
P.J.
Kavanagh (describing a poetry reading) (1931- )
Poetry is a deliberate attempt to make language suggestive and imprecise.
Kenneth
Koch (1925-2002)
Ithought that in order to be a poet one had to be either English or dead,
preferably both.
Irving Layton (1912-2006)
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient
evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
Fran
Lebowitz (1950- )
Perhaps no person can be a poet, or even enjoy poetry without a certain unsoundness
of mind.
Thomas Babington Macaulay (1800-1859)
Poets are born, not paid.
Addison Mizner (1872-1933)
We need more plumbers and electricians than we need poetsbut we need poets,
too. From what I read in newspapers and magazines, there are more bad poets
than bad electricians and plumbers. Maybe poets ought to be licensed.
Andy Rooney
(1920- )
Poetry lifts the veil from the hidden beauty of the world, and makes familiar
objects be as if they were not familiar.
Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822)
Poets, we know, are terribly sensitive people, and in my observation one of
the things they are most sensitive about is money.
Robert Penn Warren (1905-1989)
(Note: These quotations are taken from our collection of nearly 400 published volumes of quotations and 1.5 million entries. If youre looking for some quotes on virtually any subject, send us an email at bob@kellygram.com, or call us at 480-895-7617. Or, if you have a quote topic youd like us to feature in an upcoming issue, email it to us and well get it on the schedule.)
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ANNOUNCING OUR NEW BLOG
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For the past several months, a colleague and I have been planning and designing a new web site centered around my vast collection of one-and-a-half million quotations. We hope to have the new site up and running within the next month or two, and will have more details available in the next issue of The KellyGram.
As a first step, Ive begun a blog about my collection, and about quotations in general. I invite you to visit it at www.quotationsking.com, and would welcome your comments and suggestions.
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THE PREPOSITION POSITION
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"Maybe at last," wrote Jack Smith, the late great author and Los Angeles Times columnist, "we are throwing out old Miss Thistleblossoms notion that the preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with."
He added, "If we could purge the English-speaking world of this foolish teaching, we might eliminate the tortured sentences that our speakers and writers contrive in ritual avoidance of the terminal preposition."
To bolster his position, Smith quoted the famous literary stylist and grammar expert E.B. White, author of the classic manual, The Elements of Style. Smith cites a letter White wrote, containing these words: "The next grammar book I bring out I want to tell how to end a sentence with five prepositions. A father of a little boy goes upstairs after supper to read to his son, but he brings the wrong book. The boy says, What did you bring the book that I dont want to be read to out of up for?"
Whites letter was written 45 years ago, and Smiths column in 1984, but alas, some folks still havent gotten the word. In a column dated August 20, 2007, one very experienced writer, whose name we wont mention, was talking about her son, a high school assistant principal. Demonstrating the kind of "tortured sentence" Smith was lamenting, she wrote: "He knows from where kids are coming."
"Ritual avoidance," indeed! In fairness to this lady, whose column I enjoy reading, her editor may have rearranged her words, in the mistaken belief that a preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.
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REMINDER: ONE PAGE BUSINESS PLAN WORKSHOPS
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In 2004, former Fortune 500 executive Jim Horan wrote: "The One Page Business Plan for the Creative Entrepreneur," followed by two volumes aimed, respectively, at consultants and nonprofit leaders. In his books, Horan has distilled the once-painstaking process of planning into the answers to five basic questions:
In last months issue, we described two business planning half-day workshops being conducted in October by our colleague and client, Les Taylor, the owner of Achievement Solutions, using Horans one-page planning process.
The first, for entrepreneurs and business executives, will be held on Thursday, October 11, at the Arizona Small Business Association offices in Phoenix. The second workshop, for nonprofit leaders, is scheduled for Tuesday, October 16, in the conference center at East Valley Bible Church in Gilbert.
For more information, or to register, visit www.achievement-solutions.com, and click on "Workshops," or call (480) 940-8700. Early-bird discounts are available until September 30.
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SMILE AWHILE
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After every flight, U.S. Air Force pilots reportedly fill out a form which conveys to the mechanics any problems encountered with the aircraft that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, then use the same form to record what remedial action was taken.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. The following are samples of logged maintenance complaints and problems submitted by pilots, along with the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. .
(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what theyre there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect youre right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
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ODDS AND ENDS
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Back Issues:
All previous issues of The KellyGram, dating back to January 2003, are available on our website: http://www.wordcrafters.info/back_issues.html.
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Comments/Questions:
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Answer to Fun with Words:
The complete words are:
TAPIOCA HORIZON
SULPHUR HABITAT
SHAMPOO INFERNO
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THE LAST WORD
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According to statistics, its a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you dont hear from your relatives.
(Johnny Carson)
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© 2007 by Bob Kelly. All rights reserved.
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