The KellyGram

Wisdom and Wit About the Wonderful and Often Wacky World of Words

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Within the National Speakers Association, of which Im a member, there are a number of subgroups called PEGs, which stands for Professional Experts Groups, organized according to the specific interests and/or areas of expertise of the members. Two weeks ago, I had the privilege of conducting a teleseminar for members of the Writers & Publishers PEG.

During that session, I covered a wide range of topics, and received lots of favorable feedback. Among the comments were the following:

"Thank you so much for a very informative session! You made a great contribution to me today!"

"What a great teleseminar! Your love of words was apparent, as was the time you took to prepare such useful material for us. Thank you EVER so much!"

"You gave one of best, most helpful lectures over the teleseminar today that I have heard. Thanks."

"Thanks so much for your insights and for the info-packed teleseminar!"

The following are just ten of the tips we shared during that event. We hope youll find them helpful in your writing endeavors.

1. Listen to what youve written by reading it aloud; better yet, have someone else read it to you.
2. When you ask friends, relatives, or colleagues to review and comment on your manuscript, theyll feel an implied obligation to say something, so take it with a grain of salt, unless several of them focus on the same point.
3. Every writers library should include at least one style manual: The Chicago Manual of Style for book-length manuscripts, and/or The Associated Press Stylebook for magazine articles.
4. Readability and brevity are essential elements of good writing. Using the Fog Index is a good way to measure your material. According to The Wall Street Journal, "At a Fog Index of 17, virtually the entire audience has fled."
5. Anyone can claim to be an editor, so do your homework before hiring one.
6. Dont ever rely on a spellcheck program to catch your mistakes.
7. Proofread your material several times, focusing on a different element each time.
8. When quoting other sources, quotation marks arent always used in pairs, so know when to use both, neither, opening but not closing, closing but not opening, and where to place them. E.g. the close quote mark always goes outside (after) a period or comma, even if the quoted material consists of a single word.
9. Misusing "its" and "its" is perhaps the most common mistake we see, but the rule is simple: "its" always and only means "it is." In every other case, use "its."
10. Using the wrong font in large blocks of copy can make your material much harder to read. Stay away from sans serif fonts in your body copy, and use italics sparingly.

During the seminar, we covered a lot more material and many participants asked for copies of some of the topics. The list of those topics follows and, if youd like more information about any or all of them, please email me at bob@kellygram.com, listing the ones youd like, and Ill get them to you right away.

• Writing Tips
• Resources for Writers
• Proofreading Tips
• Finding a Qualified Editor
• Preparing Book Proposals
• Copyright Guidelines
• Quoting Copyrighted Material
• Using Quotation Marks
• Readability (The Fog Index)
• Style Manuals

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IN DEFENSE OF SCRABBLE

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After my somewhat critical remarks last month about Scrabble, I expected to hear from some readers, and I havent been disappointed. I especially enjoyed the following letter I received from G. Armour Van Horn, a fellow wordsmith and quote lover, who also hosts my website and delivers The KellyGram to your electronic mailboxes each month. He wrote:

"Not everyone who plays Scrabble uses the official dictionary. My wife and I play about ten games a week, with the board right in the middle of the dinner table. In fact, weve graduated to Super Scrabble, with 200 tiles and a bigger board. We keep the American Heritage Unabridged Dictionary on a side table for when we arent sure. But we dont keep score, as that takes too much time and tends to force you into contortions trying to get the Qs and Zs to land on triple-point squares.

"And we cheat routinely, grabbing the crucial tile that lets us play quorum and acquittal, instead of quo and quit were going for good words. If I play some short easy word that blocks a good play of Larkins, Ill take it back and find a play that doesnt keep her from laying down excitedly or boudoir.

"If I were raising my daughter all over again, I would definitely make Scrabble a constant part of family life. I agree, taken to the ultimate level, Scrabble is stupid. But it's a great way to enjoy a fascination with words, and I dont think its hurting my spelling skills at all!"

Van

Van also hosts a great quotation site called "Quotes of the Day" (www.qotd.org), where you can sign up to receive selected quotes every morning. Ive subscribed to it for about three years now, and his selections are invariably inspiring, educational and/or entertaining. Its a great service and I encourage you to join the several thousand other subscribers on his mailing list.

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PLANNING A BOOK? IT HAD BETTER BE GOOD!

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Is 2006 the year youre finally going to finish writing that book youve been thinking about for so long? Why not? Lots and lots of others are doing so. But the numbers are awfully intimidating. According to R.R. Bowker, LLC, there were 195,000 books published in 2004, an all-time high, and an increase of 72 percent since 1995. And, a book by a typical author averages a mere 11,800 copies sold.

To be successful in a very crowded marketplace, and to beat that average, there are two essentials. First, it has to be very well-written and highly readable, and, second, you must be prepared to spend a considerable amount of time, energy and money to market it. It doesnt matter if you self-publish or use a traditional publisher, sales of your book will depend on Y-O-U.

I dont do book marketing, but can direct you to some folks wholl work with you. However, I can certainly help you, as I have many other authors, put together a book youll be proud to put your name on. Whether you need it ghostwritten, edited, proofread, or some combination thereof, Ill be happy to consult with you about it.

Im beginning my 27^th year of doing just that for dozens of satisfied clients. I guarantee my work, and never charge a fee for an initial review or consultation. Call me at (480) 895-7617, or email me at bob@kellygram.com, and let me show you how you can look good on paper.

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SMILE AWHILE

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Its still very early in June, but here in Arizona, were already seeing temperatures above 110 degrees! In fact, its already so hot THAT......

• The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.
• Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
• The cows are giving evaporated milk.
• The trees are whistling for the dogs.
• One sad Arizonan was heard to pray, "Please, God, sent some rain - not so much for me, cuz I've seen it, but for my 7-year-old."
• You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
• You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
• You can make INSTANT sun tea.
• You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
• When the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
• You discover that in July, it takes only two fingers to drive your car.
• You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
• Hot water now comes out of both taps.
• You realize asphalt has a liquid state.

BUT, as those of us who live in Arizona year-round keep telling ourselves: "Its a dry heat!"

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ODDS AND ENDS

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Back Issues:

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Comments/Questions:

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A FINAL WORD

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Never argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
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© 2006 by Bob Kelly. All rights reserved.