The KellyGram

Wisdom and Wit About the Wonderful and Often Wacky World of Words

(Note: These quotations are taken from our collection of nearly 400 published volumes of quotations and 1.5 million entries. If youre looking for some quotes on virtually any subject, send us an email at bob@kellygram.com, or call us at 480-895-7617. Or, if you have a quote topic youd like us to feature in an upcoming issue, email it to us and well get it on the schedule.)

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A GREAT WORD!

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In a recent newspaper article titled "The Art of Schmoozing," one of the people interviewed by the reporter was quoted as saying: "A lot of our organization is built around networking, which means that were built around schmoozing."

Another of the interviewees was Dave Sherman, who runs Scottsdale-based Connection Pros, and is the author of the best-selling book, "50 Top Tips: A Simple Guide to Networking Success." Dave, whos a friend and fellow member of National Speakers Association, disagrees with the above quote. "There are people who think theyre schmoozing," he says, "when what theyre really doing is selling."

I really like the Yiddish word "schmoozing," which conveys to me a genuine, sincere, friendly, "no hidden agenda" interest in people, by someone whos not out to impress or to make a sale.

  In his wonderful book, "The Joys of Yiddish" (among my all time favorites), Leo Rosten commented: "I have never encountered a word that conveys heart-to-heart chit-chat as warmly as does shmooz [his spelling]."

Schmoozing is about listening instead of talking, and about what you can do for others, instead of what they can do for you. Its been likened to The Golden Rule, and called "the authentic practice of treating others well."

  Salesmanship and networking can be taught, but Im not sure schmoozing can. It seems to be something that comes naturally, part of ones personality. It's all about sincerity. A man named Michael Meaney once wrote: "The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, youve got it made." A funny line, but I dont believe you can fake schmoozing.

Can being a good schmoozer lead to the development of solid business relationships, as well as personal ones? Certainly! As the old saying goes: "People do business with people they know, and with people they like." But its all about letting it happen, rather than trying to make it happen.

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PLANNING A BOOK? IT HAD BETTER BE GOOD!

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Is 2006 the year youre finally going to finish writing that book youve been thinking about for so long? Why not? Lots and lots of others are doing so. But the numbers are awfully intimidating. According to R.R. Bowker, LLC, there were 195,000 books published in 2004, an all-time high, and an increase of 72 percent since 1995. And, a book by a typical author averages a mere 11,800 copies sold.

To be successful in a very crowded marketplace, and to beat that average, there are two essentials. First, it has to be very well-written and highly readable, and, second, you must be prepared to spend a considerable amount of time, energy and money to market it. It doesnt matter if you self-publish or use a traditional publisher, sales of your book will depend on Y-O-U.

I dont do book marketing, but can direct you to some folks wholl work with you. However, I can certainly help you, as I have many other authors, put together a book youll be proud to put your name on. Whether you need it ghostwritten, edited, proofread, or some combination thereof, Ill be happy to consult with you about it.

Im beginning my 27^th year of doing just that for dozens of satisfied clients. I guarantee my work, and never charge a fee for an initial review or consultation. Call me at (480) 895-7617, or email me at bob@kellygram.com, and let me show you how you can look good on paper.

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SMILE AWHILE

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In keeping with the theme of this months issue, we asked the eminent physician, Dr. Laurel Hearty, for her advice on exercise and proper diet.

Q: Weve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and thats it. Dont throw them away on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; thats like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100 percent of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: Arent fried foods bad for you?

A: Youre not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, theyre permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?

A: Thicker gravy.

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had.

Thank you, Doctor Hearty!

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ODDS AND ENDS

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A FINAL WORD

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I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

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© 2006 by Bob Kelly. All rights reserved.