The KellyGram

Wisdom and Wit About the Wonderful and Often Wacky World of Words

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Editing a clients manuscript recently presented an unusual challenge. It seems the letter "n" on his keyboard wasnt working, so we had to keep an extra sharp eye out to identify the places (lots of them) where that letter was missing and insert it.

That exercise reminded us of a couple of items weve had in our files for many years. The first is a good message about the importance of every one of us. Called "A Key Person," it reads as follows:

"Xvxn though thx kxyboard on my old computxr has startxd to show a lot of wxar and txar, it works vxry wxll xxcxpt for onx kxy. You would think that with all thx othxr kxys functioning propxrly, onx kxy not working would hardly bx noticxd, but just onx kxy out of whack sxxms to ruin thx xntirx xffort.

"You may say to yoursxlf: "Wxll, Im only onx pxrson. No onx will xvxn noticx if I dont quitx do my bxst." But it doxs makx a diffxrxncx bxcausx, to bx xffxctivx, xvxry organization, whxthxr it bx a businxss, an association, a nonprofit agxncy, a church, a txam or a social club, nxxds activx participation by xvxry onx to thx bxst of his or hxr ability.

"So thx nxxt timx you think yourx not important, or that your xfforts arxnt nxxdxd or apprxciatxd, rxmxmbxr my old kxyboard. You arx indxxd a kxy pxrson."

(For the second item we mentioned, refer to the "Smile Awhile" section below.)

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SAY WHAT?

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Well, the editors of Merriam-Websters Collegiate Dictionary are at it again. Of the 17 million words they regularly monitor, about 165,000 make the final cut. The newest edition, hot off the press, includes a grand total of 18 words appearing for the first time. For those of you keeping score at home, thats slightly more than one hundredth of one percent.

Some of the "new" words have been in common use for a decade or more, so its a bit surprising that bikini wax, brain freeze, chick flick and tide pool werent previously listed.

A few of the others could probably cause a brain freeze if tossed in your direction during a casual conversation. They include cybrarian, retronym and steganography. In case youve forgotten, theyre defined as follows: cybrarian (a person whose job is to find, collect, and manage information available on the World Wide Web); retronym (a term consisting of a noun and a modifier which specifies the original meaning of the noun); and steganography (the art or practice of concealing a message, image, or file within another message, image, or file).

Id be happy to provide examples of those last two except for one limiting factor: I dont have a clue!

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PLANNING A BOOK? IT HAD BETTER BE GOOD!

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Are you planning on writing a book? Why not? Lots and lots of others are doing so. But the numbers are awfully intimidating. According to R.R. Bowker, LLC, there were 195,000 books published in 2004, an all-time high, and an increase of 72 percent since 1995. And, a book by a typical author averages a mere 11,800 copies sold.

To be successful in a very crowded marketplace, and to beat that average, there are two essentials. First, it has to be very well-written and highly readable, and, second, you must be prepared to spend a considerable amount of time, energy and money to market it. It doesnt matter if you self-publish or use a traditional publisher, sales of your book will depend on Y-O-U.

I dont do book marketing, but can direct you to some folks wholl work with you. However, I can certainly help you, as I have many other authors, put together a book youll be proud to put your name on. Whether you need it ghostwritten, edited, proofread, or some combination thereof, Ill be happy to consult with you about it.

Ive been doing it for more than 25 years for dozens of satisfied clients. I guarantee my work, and never charge a fee for an initial review or consultation. Call me at (480) 895-7617, or email me at bob@kellygram.com, and let me show you how you can look good on paper.

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SMILE AWHILE

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Back in the days when type was set by hand, printers had type drawers, in which each letter of the alphabet, and each punctuation mark or other symbol, was kept in its own individual compartment. One day, the editor of a small-town newspaper arrived at work and found to his dismay that every letter "s" was missing from its place.

Faced with the need to get the next days paper printed, he inserted the following explanation:

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BACK ISSUES

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Previous issues of The KellyGram are available on our website: http://www.wordcrafters.info/back_issues.html.

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A FINAL WORD

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Stand up, on this Thanksgiving Day, stand upon your feet. Believe in man. Soberly and with clear eyes, believe in your own time and place. There is not, and there never has been a better time, or a better place to live in. (Phillips Brooks)

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© 2005 by Bob Kelly. All rights reserved.