The KellyGram

Published by Bob Kelly

Resident Wordsmith and Quotemeister

WordCrafters, Inc.

www.wordcrafters.info

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In This Issue:

• The Quote Corner (Writers Part3)
• Painting Word Pictures
• Do What They Say, Not What They Do
• Planning a Book? We Can Help!
• Smile Awhile
• Back Issues
• A Final Word

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THE QUOTE CORNER (Writers Part 3)

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Its not a college degree that makes a writer. The great thing is to have a story to tell. (Polly Adler)

I write with experiences in mind, but I dont write about them, I write out of them. (John Ashberry)

There is a great discovery still to be made in literature, that of paying literary men by the quantity they do not write. (Thomas Carlyle)

The discipline of the writer is to learn to be still and listen to what his subject has to tell him. (Rachel Carson)

I was gravely warned by some of my female acquaintances that no woman could expect to be regarded as a lady after she had written a book. (Lydia Maria Child)

Writers become idiotic under flattery sooner than any other set of people in the world. (Frank Moore Colby)

Writers are too self-centered to be lonely. (Richard Condon)

If there be a special Hell for writers it would be in the forced contemplation of their own works, with all the misconceptions, the omissions, the failures that any finished work of art implies. (John Dos Passos)

It is the writers privilege to help man endure by lifting his heart. (William Faulkner)

The writers only responsibility is to his art. He will be completely ruthless if he is a good one.If a writer has to rob his mother, he will not hesitate; the "Ode on a Grecian Urn" is worth any number of old ladies. (William Faulkner)

A writer and nothing else: a man alone in a room with the English language, trying to get human feelings right. (John K. Hutchens)

Every writer has certain subjects that they write about again and again....Most peoples books are just variations on certain themes. (Christopher Isherwood)

A great writer is the friend and benefactor of his readers. (Thomas Babington Macaulay)

The only reason for being a professional writer is that you just cant help it. (Leo Rosten)

Every writer must acknowledge, and be able to handle the unalterable fact that he has, in effect, given himself a life sentence in solitary confinement. (Peter Straub)

The whole duty of a writer is to please and satisfy himself, and the true writer always plays to an audience of one. (William Strunk, Jr./E.B. White)

The beginning writer needs talent, application and aspirin. If he wants to write just to make money, he is not a writer. (James Thurber)

Originality is nothing but judicious imitation. The most original writers borrowed one from another. The instruction we find in books is like fire. We fetch it from our neighbors, kindle it at home, communicate it to others, and it becomes the property of all. (Voltaire)

Most writers are in a state of gloom a good deal of the time; they need perpetual reassurance. (John Hall Wheelock)

I have yet to see a piece of writing, political or non-political, that doesnt have a slant. All writing slants the way a writer leans, and no man is born perpendicular, although many men are born upright. (E.B. White)

If you wait for inspiration, youre not a writer but a waiter. (Anonymous)

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In September, at the monthly meeting of the Arizona chapter of National Speakers Association (NSA), the featured speaker was Patricia Fripp, Certified Speaking Professional (CSP), CPAE Speaker Hall of Fame member, and a recipient of NSAs highest honor, The Cavett Award.

While her topic, "Learn the Inside Secrets of Superstar Presentations," was packed with sound advice for speakers, much of what she said applies to writers as well. "Make every word a picture word," she said. To illustrate her point, she recited the answer she got from a scientist, when shed asked him to define his profession: "Its like doing a jigsaw puzzle in a snowstorm at night, with some pieces missing, and with no idea what the finished picture looks like."

Now, she could have checked her dictionary and found scientist defined as: "an expert in science, especially one of the physical or natural sciences." Oh, really? Instead, by using picture words, her scientist friend painted a perfect word picture of his profession.

In recent days, the intense scrutinizing of then Supreme Court nominee John Roberts by the Senate Judiciary Committee was covered in painstaking and often tedious detail by television, radio and print media.

However, of all I saw and read about it, my favorite summary of the proceedings came from one Dahlia Lithwick, who wrote: "Roberts is a man long accustomed to answering really hard questions from extremely smart people, suddenly faced with the almost-harder task of answering obvious questions from less-smart people. He finds himself standing in a batting cage with the pitching machine set way too slow."

Now, whether youre in the pro- or anti-Roberts camp, you may find yourself thinking: "Boy, I wish Id said that." I know I have. Its a great word picture.

The late rabbi, M. Robert Syme, described words as: "vehicles that can transport us from the drab sands to the dazzling stars." And the famous Welsh poet, Dylan Thomas, wrote at length of his love affair with words, and of "the shape and shade and size and noise of the words as they hummed, strummed, jigged and galloped along."

In your writing and speaking, go after those picture words, that hum, strum, jig and gallop along, to create word pictures in the minds of your readers and hearers.

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DO WHAT THEY SAY, NOT WHAT THEY DO

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Recently, I spent a couple of days with a client for whom Im editing a book. While sitting in his office, I picked up a couple of volumes hed purchased about the craft of writing, and began thumbing through them. Before I had a chance to evaluate their content, I was surprised to find what I consider errors in style and format that violate one of the most important ingredients of nearly all writing: readability!

For example, one of the books, The Writers Book of Wisdom, by Steven Taylor Goldsberry, all 200-plus pages of it, was printed entirely in a sans serif font (such as Arial or Helvetica). Virtually every newspaper and magazine in America, and nearly all books, use a serif font (such as Times New Roman). Sans serif type is fine for headlines, sidebars, callouts, etc., but should never be used extensively in body copy. The reason: its harder to read. Why make your readers work harder to find out what you have to say?

The font used in the other book, How to Write, by Herbert and Jill Meyer, was fine, but its big mistake was wall-to-wall copy, and lots of long, long, long paragraphs. In one place, a 19-line paragraph was immediately followed by a 20-line one. Some paragraphs were even longer. There were no callouts, subheads or artwork to break up the copy, or to capture and retain the readers interest.

Back in the Dark Ages, old Mrs. Thistlebottom, your high-school English teacher, probably insisted that you only start a new paragraph when you have a new thought, or introduce a different angle. But no longer! In this age of instant-everything and information overload, you have to grab your readers attention quickly, and keep it.

To do so, use short words, short sentences and short paragraphs. In nearly all cases, limit your paragraphs to five or six lines. The start of a new paragraph gives your reader a chance to take a short mental break before moving on.

Mark Twain once advised: "Be careful of reading health books. You might die of a misprint." The two books Ive described have lots of helpful advice on writing, but be careful to do what they say, and not what they do.

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PLANNING A BOOK? WE CAN HELP!

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Are you planning on writing a book? Why not? Lots and lots of others are doing so. But the numbers are awfully intimidating. According to R.R. Bowker, LLC, there were 195,000 books published in 2004, an all-time high, and an increase of 72 percent since 1995.

If you expect your book to be successful in a very crowded marketplace, there are two essentials. First, it has to be very well-written and highly readable, and, second, you must be prepared to spend a considerable amount of time, energy and money to market it. It doesnt matter if you self-publish or use a traditional publisher, sales of your book will depend on Y-O-U.

I dont do book marketing, but can direct you to some folks wholl work with you. However, I can certainly help you, as I have many other authors, put together a book youll be proud to put your name on. Whether you need it ghostwritten, edited, proofread, or some combination thereof, Ill be happy to consult with you about it.

Ive been doing it for more than 25 years for dozens of satisfied clients. I guarantee my work, and never charge a fee for an initial review or consultation. Call me at (480) 895-7617, or email me at bob@kellygram.com, and let me show you how you can look good on paper.

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SMILE AWHILE

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A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school. He didnt want her to walk with him. She wanted him to feel he had some independence, but yet know he was safe. So she asked a neighbor, Mrs. Goodnest, if shed follow him to school in the morning, staying at a distance, so he wouldnt notice her.  

Mrs. Goodnest agreed, so she and her little girl, Marcy, began following Timmy as he walked to school with another boy. After about a week, Timmys friend noticed her following them. So he asked Timmy, "Do you know that lady whos been following us all week?" Timmy replied, "Yeah. Thats just Shirley Goodnest and her daughter Marcy."

"But why is she following us?" his friend asked. "Well," Timmy explained, "every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm, cuz she worries about me so much. And it says, Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life, so I guess Ill just have to get used to it!"

May "Shirley Goodnest" and "Marcy" be with you today, and always!!!

(Note: My thanks [I think] to my friend, George Weinwurm, for sending along this item.)

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BACK ISSUES

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Previous issues of The KellyGram are available on our website: http://www.wordcrafters.info/back_issues.html.

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A FINAL WORD

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Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

(P.J. ORourke)

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