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Wisdom and Wit About the Wonderful and Often Wacky World of Words
Published by Bob Kelly
Resident Wordsmith and Quotemeister
WordCrafters, Inc.
www.wordcrafters.info
Providing the Right Word for Speakers, Writers, Ministry Leaders and Business Executives – since 1979!
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Volume 3 – Number 5 May 2005
In This Issue:
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THE QUOTE CORNER (Mothers)
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As we celebrate Mothers Day this month, it seems fitting to provide some quotes on the subject. My own Mom died nearly a half-century ago, at much too young an age, but it was she who first instilled in me a love for words, for which Ill be forever grateful.
The Random House Dictionary of the English Language defines a mother as simply "a female parent." But, of course, shes so much more than that. She not only gave us life, but, as the need arises, shes our doctor, nurse, guardian, comforter, teacher, advisor, protector, disciplinarian, critic, cook, laundress, seamstress, chauffeur, dishwasher, nutritionist and friend.
She rejoices with us in our victories, and consoles us in our defeats. When were sick, she seems to know exactly the right medicine as often as not, its a bowl of chicken soup, and its always served with generous portions of love. No matter how old we get, we never really grow up in her eyes, but remain her "baby."
Much of the time, we tend to take our mothers for granted. They never seem to slow down, and they have a knack of being there when we need them, whether its the middle of the day or the middle of the night. When we get sick, well skip work or school and spend the day in bed, but, somehow, mothers just keep going and going, and they have to be very, very sick before theyll ever admit it, and let someone else take care of them.
Once a year, we set aside a day to honor our mothers, as well as our wives, the mothers of our children. We put on our best behavior, buy them flowers, candy and Mothers Day cards, tell them how much we love and appreciate them, and take them out for dinner. By the next day, its all been forgotten, and poor old (or young) Mom has to wait another year to learn she really is loved and appreciated.
The great American tradition of Mothers Day, which we celebrate this year on May 8, began in 1907, when a Philadelphia woman named Anna Jarvis asked the pastor of her church to conduct a service in memory of mothers everywhere. She specifically asked that the service be conducted on the anniversary of her own mothers death.
It was an idea whose time had come. It spread quickly and, in 1914, Mothers Day was recognized by the United States Congress as an annual event. Every year since then, a Presidential Proclamation has been issued, setting aside the second Sunday of May as a day to pay homage to mothers.
In that spirit, we present some comments wise, wonderful and witty that others have made about mothers.
The God to whom little boys say their prayers has a face very much like their mothers. (James M. Barrie)
It is pretty generally agreed that all a woman needs to do to know all about children is to have some. This wisdom is attributed to instinct...I have seen mothers give beer and spaghetti and Neapolitan ice cream to children in arms, and if they got that from instinct the only conclusion possible is that instinct is not what it used to be. (Heywood Broun)
My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. (Herb Caen)
A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. (Dorothy Canfield Fisher)
Men want to improve only the world, but mothers want to improve their whole family. That is a much harder task. (Harriet Freezer)
Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall.
A mothers secret love outlives them all.
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)
Maternal love is a miraculous substance which God multiplies as He divides it. (Victor Hugo)
The memory of my mother and her teachings werethe only capital I had to start life with, and on that capital I have made my way. (Andrew Jackson)
You never get over being a child, as long as you have a mother to go to. (Sarah Orne Jewett)
All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother. (Abraham Lincoln)
My mother loved childrenshe would have given anything if I had been one. (Groucho Marx)
Every mother is like Moses. She does not enter the promised land. She prepares a world she will not see. (Pope Paul VI)
I dont think there are enough devils in hell to take a young person from the arms of a godly mother. (Billy Sunday)
Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of little children. (William Makepeace Thackeray)
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. (Mark Twain)
All that I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her. (George Washington)
God could not be everywhere, and so He made mothers. (Jewish Proverb)
(Note: These quotations are taken from our collection of nearly 400 published volumes of quotations and 1.5 million entries. If youre looking for some quotes on virtually any subject, send us an email at bob@kellygram.com, or call us at 480-895-7617. Or, if you have a quote topic youd like us to feature in an upcoming issue, email it to us and well get it on the schedule.)
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MOTHER GOOSE
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When we were children, it was usually our mothers who introduced us to another mother, who surely ranks among the most famous ones in American literature. It was certainly true in my case. Her name was Mother Goose, and her Nursery Rhymes delighted us. Generally considered a fictional character, Mother Goose was in fact a real person, the mother-in-law of an 18th Century newspaper publisher in Boston.
His name was Thomas Fleet, who was born in England in 1685. As a young man, he learned the printing business and moved to the United States at the age of 27, where he met and married the daughter of a wealthy Bostonian. Shortly after the arrival of their son, Fleets mother-in-law, who lived with the family, began loudly and frequently reciting rhymes to the infant. Although greatly annoyed by these incessant recitations, Fleet, looking to supplement his rather meager income, began writing down the rhymes.
Then, in a classic example of turning lemons into lemonade, he printed and sold them in a book, which he called "Mother Gooses Melodies for Children," which quickly became both popular and profitable.
Why did he choose that name? Why not? After all, he had married a woman whose maiden name was Elizabeth Goose, the real-life daughter of the real-life Mother Goose.
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WOMEN WRITERS CONFERENCE
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On Saturday, May 14, Women Writers of the Desert (WWD), the Phoenix chapter of the National Association of Women Writers, will host its annual conference at the Heard Museum, located at 2301 N. Central Avenue, Phoenix. About 200 women are expected to attend the all-day event, which is titled: "Back to Basics: The ABCs of Writing and Publishing." Men are also welcome to attend.
In a series of one-hour sessions, speakers will cover various aspects of the writing profession, including: writing as a career; legal guidelines; the computer as a writing tool; the editors role; and the motivational and inspirational aspects of writing.
The conference includes lunch, door prizes and a networking and social hour. For more information, or to register, visit the WWD website at www.womenwritersofthedesert.org, or call founder/president LinDee Rochelle at 602/861-1131.
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WRITING/EDITING NEEDS? WE CAN HELP!
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If you answered "yes" to any of those questions, we can help. After all, weve been doing it for more than 25 years for dozens of satisfied clients. We guarantee our work, and we never charge a fee for an initial review or consultation. Call us at (480) 895-7617, or email us at bob@kellygram.com, and let us show you how we can make you look good on paper.
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SMILE AWHILE
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Lessons from Mom
My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall and break your neck, youre not going to the store with me."
My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and Ill give you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"Your room looks as if a tornado went through it."
My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother taught me about RECEIVING
"Youre going to get it when you get home!"
My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you dont stop crossing your eyes, theyre going to freeze that way."
My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; dont you think I know when youre cold?"
My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, dont come running to me."
(My thanks to my good friend, George Weinwurm, for these gems.)
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BACK ISSUES
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Previous issues of The KellyGram are available on our website: www.wordcrafters.info.
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A FINAL WORD
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You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be
I had a Mother who read to me.
(Strickland Gillilan)
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