The KellyGram

Providing the Right Word for Speakers, Writers, Ministry Leaders and Business Executives – since 1979!

Among all U.S. presidents, few had the communication skills of the late Ronald Reagan. As our tribute to him, we present just a few of the hundreds of his quotations we have in our collection.

In America, every day is a new beginning, and every sunset is merely the latest milestone on a voyage that never ends. For this is the land that has never become, but is always in the act of becoming. Emerson was right: America is the Land of Tomorrow.

Inside the Bibles pages lie all the answers to all the problems man has ever known.The Bible can touch our hearts, order our minds, and refresh our souls.

Freedom is indivisible, there is no "s" on the end of it. You can erode freedom, diminish it, but you cannot divide it and choose to keep "some freedoms" while giving up others.

You know someone once likened government to a baby. It is an alimentary canal with an appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

We must reject the idea that every time a law is broken, society is guilty, rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is responsible for his actions.

A leader, once convinced a particular course of action is the right one, must have the determination to stick with it and be undaunted when the going gets rough.

Middle age is when you're faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home by nine o'clock.

If we are forced to fight, we must have the means and the determination to prevail or we will not have what it takes to secure the peace.

True, lasting peace cannot be secured through the strength of arms alone. Among free peoples, the open exchange of ideas ultimately is our greatest security.

Professional politicians like to talk about the value of experience in government. Nuts! The only experience you gain in politics is how to be political.

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed, there are many rewards; if you disgrace yourself, you can always write a book.

I have learned that one of the most important rules in politics is poise which means looking like an owl after you have behaved like a jackass.

Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.

Its hard when youre up to your armpits in alligators to remember you came here [to Washington] to drain the swamp.

Politics I supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a close resemblance to the first.

The current tax code is a daily mugging.

The taxpayer thats someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take a civil service examination.

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A LOVE AFFAIR

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In the mid-1980s, I first saw the annual calendar published by RAND Corporation, a Southern California-based "think tank." Ever since, Ive ordered a copy, because each page features a quotation from a broad range of men and women, contemporary and historical, representing almost every field of endeavor: politics, literature, science, religion, education, business and the arts.

My favorite selection, from the pen of Welsh poet Dylan Thomas, appeared in September 1992. I never cared for his poetry, but this was different. It remains the most magnificent tribute to words Ive ever read or heard:

One reason it captivated me is that its an exact description of how my own love affair with words beganas a very small child at my mothers knee. Its a love affair that continues to this day.

This selection was excerpted from something Thomas wrote called "Poetic Manifesto," which, according to RAND, had been published in "Texas Quarterly," in the Winter 1961 edition.

Recently, I decided to track down the entire piece. I did a Web search, and discovered that "Texas Quarterly" had ceased publication more than 25 years ago. Nor could I find anything more on the Internet. So I turned to an excellent resource: the reference staff at the Tempe Public Library.

It took some digging, but we finally hit pay dirt, and found the entire "Poetic Manifesto" in an anthology entitled "The Poets Work." Approximately 3500 words long, it was written by Thomas in 1951 in response to a series of questions he had been asked by a research student on how and why he became a poet.

Here are a few more samples from this truly wonderful tribute to words:

"My love for the real life of words increased until I knew that I must live with them and in them, always. I knew, in fact, that I must be a writer of words, and nothing else."

"What I like to do is to treat words as a craftsman does his wood or stone or what-have-you, to hew, carve, mold, coil, polish, and plane them into patterns, sequences, sculptures, fugues of sound expressing some lyrical impulse, some spiritual doubt or conviction, some dimly realized truth I must try to reach and realize."

"I could never have dreamt that there were such goings-on in the world between the covers of booksso many blinding lightssplashing across the pages in a million bits and pieces all of which were words, words, words, and each of which was alive forever in its own delight and glory and oddity and light."

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WHAT ABOUT BOB?

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A recent issue of the monthly ezine published by the Social Security Administration (ssa.gov) listed its 2003 findings on the ten most popular names given to newborns. (Doesnt it make you tingly all over to see your tax dollars being used in such important ways?) It seems the most popular girls namefor the eighth consecutive yearwas Emily. Among boys, Jacob was the leader, a spot hes held since 1999.

Apparently having little else to do, the folks at SSA have compiled this data all the way back to the 1880s! As I pondered this wealth of information, a question popped into my head: "What about Bob?" Having suffered a humiliating defeat when I "googled" myself and found more than 3.4 million listings for Bob Kelly (for the gory details, refer to the article, "Has Anybody Here Seen Kelly?" in our March 2004 issue), I decided it was time to restore my good name.

I entered "Bob" on the SSA site and, within about a nanosecond, I was informed that "Bob wasnt even among the top one thousand names for the years between 1990 and 2003."

Not one to readily take defeat or humiliation, I immediately switched to my given name, Robert. Ah ha! There we were, making our first appearance in 1885 in the Number 8 slot. In the ensuing years, we clawed our way up the ladder, vying with John in the early 1920s for the top two spots and finally passing him in 1926. From then until the late 50s, we waged a battle for supremacy with James and John.

Sadly, the ensuing years made it clear our popularity was on the wane. By 1989, we had dropped to 9^th place, and made our final appearance in the Top Ten in 1991. As of the end of last year, we ranked a lowly Number 35.

(Some once-popular female names have suffered a similar fate. The name Mary, which reigned supreme for more than 65 years, is now at Number 61, and Anne, which ran a close second for decades, has fallen all the way to 385.)

Some unkind soul has commented that the reason my parents called me Bob was so Id only have two letters to remember. And, even if I got it backward or upside-down, it still came out B-O-B and B-O-B, respectively.

In the final analysis, Im quite content with my name, especially when you consider some of the monikers other parents have hung on their unfortunate children, as shown in the article that follows.

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LINGUISTIC ABSURDITIES THE NAME GAME

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In its May 31, 2004 issue, Time magazine asked the same question we posed above (What About Bob?), but in a different context. The magazine wondered about the recent outbreak of unusual names with which celebrities are saddling their newborns. They include: Gwyneth Paltrows daughter, Apple; Rachel Griffiths son, Banjo Patrick; and Jason Lees son, Pilot Inspektor (Jasons spelling isnt so good, either.)

As absurd as those names may sound, they dont even come close to the one thats our all-time favorite moniker in the Pantheon of Weird Names. That honor goes to a grandson of the late gazillionaire J. Paul Getty, whose name is (Im not making this up) Tara Gabriel Galaxy Gramophone Getty.

We cant imagine how or why his parents came up with that one, but topping it (or bottoming it) seems like a tall order indeed. However, some time ago, we read a newspaper article about one couple who seemed determined to try, announcing plans to sell the rights to name their newborn son to the highest commercial bidder. The minimum bid was to be $500,000, and the winning company was promised lots of publicity.

Author and columnist Mitch Albom, who interviewed the father and wrote the article, speculated on such possibilities as Capn Crunch, Velveeta, Scooter Pie, Pine Sol and Special K. Dear old Dad, while insisting that, "We have standards," said the only unacceptable products were guns and cigarettes.

We dont know who won, but it would have served those parents right if it was the maker of Preparation H. It certainly would have brought new meaning to the word, "Preppie." (You suppose there would have been an extra charge for the middle initial?)

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SMILE AWHILE

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If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds into an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all of the worlds great literary works in Braille.

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BACK ISSUES AVAILABLE

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A number of our readers have expressed interest in seeing previous issues of The KellyGram, and were pleased to announce that theyre available on our website: www.wordcrafters.info.

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A FINAL WORD

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Our Nations motto "In God We Trust" was not chosen lightly. It reflects a basic recognition that there is a divine authority in the universe to which this nation owes homage. (Ronald Reagan)-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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© 2004 by Bob Kelly. All rights reserved.