The KellyGram

Providing the Right Word for Speakers, Writers, Ministry Leaders and Business Executives – since 1979!

Take an object. Do something to it. Do something else to it.

- Jasper Johns

Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.

- Charles Mingus

Thank God for the creative ideas that enrich your life by adding your own creative contributions to human progress.

- Wilfred A. Peterson

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A MATTER OF STYLE

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In the February issue of The KellyGram, we listed some resources to help you in your writing endeavors. One of those resources was The Chicago Manual of Style (CMS), about which we made the following observation: "Considered by many publishers the authoritative style reference book, the CMS contains more than 900 pages, is painstakingly detailed and, for the typical writer, probably represents overkill. Unless your editor or publisher specifies the CMS, the AP [Associated Press] manual will probably meet your needs."

Almost immediately after that issue was distributed, Steve Barclift, Managing Editor at Kregel Publications, which is releasing our newest book this spring, replied: "AP style is very different from CMS styleI worked with AP while in the magazine business. No one need know everything in CMSwriters only need to know how to use the TOC [Table of Contents] and index to find the answers they need. The writers who use AP style or another style cost us time and money in the editing. Nearly one hundred percent of book publishers would disagree with Bob's advice."

Steve, of course, is absolutely right. While wed been thinking primarily about the magazine market, we goofed by not presenting the complete picture. If writing a book is on your agenda, be sure to follow CMS guidelines.

And, if we can help by ghostwriting, editing and/or proofing that "must" manuscript of yours, please contact us. Theres never a charge or obligation for the initial consultation.

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PROOFREADING GUIDELINES

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• Read first for content, especially if youre proofing someone elses work.

• Proofread for typos, misspellings, etc., focusing on each word, rather than on whole phrases or sentences. Its especially easy to overlook errors in short words.

• Proofread for punctuation. Pay particular attention to punctuation marks that always belong in pairs: quotation marks, parentheses, brackets, etc. Its not unusual to find the second one missing.

• Proofread for grammatical mistakes. For example, singular nouns accompanied by plural modifiers (or vice versa) are common errors.

• Be especially watchful after youve found and corrected one error. Its easy to overlook errors that follow closely after it.

• Always have at least one other person proofread what youve written.

• Dont proofread on the computer screen. Using a "serif" typeface (Times New Roman, Courier, Garamond, etc.) in not less than 12-point type, print out the material, double-spaced, and proofread the hard copy.

• Dont ever rely on spelling software to do your proofreading for you. Spellcheckers may help spot a few misspelled words, but theyll miss far more than theyll catch.

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BIG ROCKS!

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One day, an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget. As he stood in front of the group of high-powered overachievers, he said, "Okay, time for a quiz." Then he pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouth Mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. Producing about a dozen fist-sized rocks, he carefully put them, one at a time, into the jar. When no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?"

Everyone in the class said, "Yes." Then he said, "Really?" He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He dumped some in and shook the jar, causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the spaces around the rocks. Then he asked the group again, "Is the jar full?" By this time the class was on to him. "Probably not," one answered. "Good!" he replied.

Next, he brought out a bucket of sand and started pouring the sand into the jar, where it filled all the spaces between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked, "Is this jar full?" "No!" the class shouted. Once again he said, "Good." Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it until the jar was filled to the brim.

Then he looked at the class and asked, "Whats the point of this illustration?" One eager beaver raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard, you can always fit some more things in it!"

"No," he replied, "thats not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you dont put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all."

What are the big rocks in your life? Time with your loved ones? Your faith, your education, your dreams? A worthy cause? Teaching or mentoring others? Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or youll never get them in at all. So, sometime today, when youre reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question: "What are the big rocks in my life?" Then, put those in your jar first.

(Author unknown)

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LINGUISTIC ABSURDITIES

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On the News Front:

From Parade - In Berkeley, California, city officials have changed the name of the October 12 holiday from Columbus Day to Happy Indigenous Peoples Day.

From Readers Digest - Police arrested two Cleveland women who allegedly were loitering in order to promote themselves as morally challenged freelance entertainers to various individuals.

From Reuters - No more "Jack the Ripper" references. Londons most famous mystery man (the term "murderer" is no longer acceptable) will henceforth be referred to as "Jack the amateur tracheotomist and abdominal surgeon."

From The Federalist Papers - Coming soon to an operating theater near you.... David Nunn, a London orthopedic surgeon, was forced to stop midway through an operation when the attending foreign surgical nurses could not understand his requests in English for specific instruments. Nunn was accused of racism for placing patient safety over the

sensitivities of those with a poor command of English, and he is facing disciplinary action from his hospital superiors.

From U.S. News & World Report - Two professors at California State University objected to the wording of a help-wanted ad seeking "a dynamic classroom teacher," claiming the word "dynamic" is actually a code word for white male. Many women, Asians, and Hispanics operated in a more subdued manner, they argued. The university changed the word "dynamic" to "excellent."

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SMILE AWHILE

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Once upon a time, there was a shepherd tending his sheep at the edge of a country road. A brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee screeches to a halt next to him. The driver, a young man dressed in a Brioni suit, Cerrutti shoes, Ray-Ban glasses, Rolex wristwatch and a Bill Blass tie gets out and asks the shepherd:

"If I guess how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"

The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the sprawling field of sheep and says: "Okay."

The young man connects his notebook and wireless modem, enters a NASA site, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms, then prints a 150-page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He then turns to the shepherd and says: "You have exactly 1,586 sheep here."

The shepherd answers: "That's right! You can have your sheep."

The young man takes one of the animals and puts it in the back of his vehicle. The shepherd looks at him and asks: "Now, if I guess your profession, will you pay me back in kind?"

The young man answers: "Sure."

The shepherd says: "Youre a consultant."

"Exactly! How did you know?" asks the young man.

"Very simple," answers the shepherd, "First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew. Third, you dont understand anything about my business and I'd really like to have my dog back."

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A FINAL WORD

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"My mind works like lightning: one brilliant flash and then everything goes black."

(Anonymous)

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